Perinatal Loss Therapist in Short Hills, New Jersey: How Kathleen (Kathy) Murphy, LPC Supports Grief and Mental Health

The loss of a baby during pregnancy or around the time of birth is one of the most profound experiences a parent can face. For many, it brings a wide range of emotions: sadness, shock, anger, guilt, confusion, and uncertainty about what comes next. Alongside grief, some people also notice changes in their emotional well-being, such as heightened anxiety, low mood, disrupted sleep, or a sense of distance from the people around them.

Perinatal loss is not only a physical experience. It touches emotional health, relationships, personal identity, and a person’s outlook on the future. Every individual responds in their own way, and there is no single “right” way to grieve.

If you or someone you love is navigating perinatal loss, understanding its emotional impact and knowing where to find support can be a meaningful step toward healing. With compassionate, professional care, people can process their experience at their own pace, without pressure to move forward before they are ready.

At Light Street Psychotherapy in Short Hills, New Jersey, individuals, couples, and families can explore grief, emotional challenges, and significant life transitions in a warm and supportive therapeutic environment.

What Is Perinatal Loss?

Perinatal loss refers to the loss of a baby during pregnancy or shortly after birth. Depending on the clinical or public health definition used, it may include miscarriage, stillbirth, and the loss of a newborn in the early days after birth.

Perinatal loss can occur in different circumstances, including:

• Miscarriage: The loss of a pregnancy before the baby is able to survive outside the womb.
• Stillbirth: The loss of a baby later in pregnancy. In the United States, this generally refers to a loss at or after 20 weeks, though precise definitions vary by guideline.
• Neonatal loss: The loss of a baby in the days or weeks following birth.
• Other complex pregnancy experiences: Complicated pregnancy outcomes, including medically recommended terminations, ectopic pregnancies, and high-risk diagnoses, can also bring grief, fear, and emotional distress, even when they fall outside a formal definition of perinatal loss.

Every experience is unique. Some parents have been anticipating their baby’s arrival for many months; others experience an unexpected loss early in pregnancy. Regardless of timing, the emotional significance can be profound.

A person’s grief is not measured by how far along the pregnancy was, how much time they had to prepare, or whether others fully understood the experience. The loss often encompasses not only the baby, but also the hopes, plans, and imagined future a parent had already begun to build.

How Perinatal Loss Can Affect Mental Health

Perinatal loss can influence mental health in a variety of ways. Some people experience intense grief that gradually softens and changes over time. Others notice ongoing anxiety, low mood, intrusive thoughts, or difficulty reengaging with everyday routines.

There is no universal timeline for grief, and strong emotions after a loss do not automatically indicate a mental health condition. However, when emotional distress becomes overwhelming, persists over time, or begins to interfere with daily functioning, professional support can be highly beneficial.

1. Grief and Emotional Heaviness

Grief is a natural response to losing someone deeply meaningful. After perinatal loss, a person may cry frequently, feel emotionally drained, or find it hard to make sense of what happened.

Certain moments can carry particular emotional weight, such as the original due date, the anniversary of the loss, baby showers, holidays, or a friend’s pregnancy announcement. These reactions are a normal part of grieving and reflect the depth of the bond a parent formed with their baby.

2. Anxiety and Worry

Many people experience heightened anxiety after perinatal loss. This may show up as persistent worry about health, difficulty relaxing, a racing mind, or physical sensations such as a tight chest or restlessness. For those who become pregnant again, anxiety during a subsequent pregnancy is especially common and entirely understandable.

3. Low Mood and Depression

Some individuals notice a lasting low mood, reduced interest in activities they once enjoyed, changes in appetite or sleep, or ongoing fatigue. When these symptoms continue for several weeks or affect daily life, they may indicate depression, which is highly treatable with the right support.

4. Guilt and Self-Blame

It is very common for parents to search for reasons and to question whether they could have done something differently. In the overwhelming majority of cases, perinatal loss is not caused by anything a parent did or did not do. Therapy can help gently untangle these thoughts and replace self-blame with self-compassion.

5. Trauma Responses

For some, particularly after a sudden loss or a medically complex delivery, the experience may be traumatic. Signs can include vivid or intrusive memories, avoidance of reminders such as hospitals or medical appointments, feeling constantly on alert, or difficulty sleeping. These responses are the mind’s attempt to process an overwhelming event, and specialized therapeutic approaches can help.

6. Changes in Relationships and Connection

Partners often grieve differently, in timing, intensity, and expression. One person may want to talk often, while the other processes privately. These differences are normal, yet they can create distance if left unspoken. Friends and family may also be unsure what to say, which can leave grieving parents feeling isolated or unseen.

7. Shifts in Identity and Sense of the Future

Perinatal loss can reshape how a person sees themselves, particularly in relation to parenthood. Questions such as “Am I still a parent?” or “What does my future look like now?” are common and meaningful. Exploring these questions in a supportive setting can help people develop a renewed sense of identity and hope.

Disenfranchised Grief: When a Loss Feels Unrecognized

Perinatal loss is often described as a form of disenfranchised grief, meaning grief that is not always openly acknowledged or socially supported. Because many pregnancies are not yet widely shared, especially in early stages, others may not know a loss occurred. Well-intentioned comments such as “at least it was early” or “you can try again” can unintentionally minimize the experience.

Recognizing that this grief is valid and deserving of care is an important part of healing. Therapy offers a space where the loss is fully acknowledged and honored.

Healthy Ways to Cope With Perinatal Loss

There is no single path through grief, but many people find the following approaches helpful:

• Allow emotions without judgment. Sadness, anger, numbness, and even moments of relief or laughter can all coexist. Each is a valid part of the process.
• Honor your baby in a way that feels meaningful. Some families choose a name, plant a tree, create a memory box, write a letter, or mark special dates with a quiet ritual.
• Communicate openly with your partner. Sharing how each of you is experiencing the loss can strengthen connection and reduce misunderstanding.
• Set gentle boundaries. It is okay to step back from events or conversations that feel too difficult right now.
• Attend to physical well-being. Rest, nourishment, and gentle movement support emotional recovery, especially as the body continues to heal.
• Connect with others who understand. Support groups and peer communities for perinatal loss can reduce feelings of isolation.
• Seek professional support. A therapist with specialized training in perinatal mental health can provide guidance tailored to your unique experience.

How Therapy Can Support Healing

Therapy provides a confidential, compassionate space to process the loss at a pace that feels right. A skilled therapist can help you:

• Make sense of complex and sometimes conflicting emotions
• Reduce guilt and self-blame while building self-compassion
• Manage anxiety, low mood, and sleep disruption
• Navigate differences in how partners grieve
• Prepare emotionally for anniversaries, due dates, and other meaningful milestones
• Process traumatic aspects of the experience
• Approach decisions about future pregnancies with greater clarity and support
• Gradually rebuild a sense of meaning, hope, and connection

Therapy is not about “moving on” or forgetting. It is about finding a way to carry the loss with care, while continuing to live a full and meaningful life.

Specialized Perinatal Support at Light Street Psychotherapy

Kathleen (Kathy) Murphy, LPC is a Licensed Professional Counselor at Light Street Psychotherapy who is Certified in Perinatal Mental Health. This specialized training focuses on the emotional dimensions of pregnancy, the postpartum period, infertility, and pregnancy loss.

• License: Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC), New Jersey
• Education: Master’s in Counseling, Northwestern University
• Certification: Certified in Perinatal Mental Health
• Areas of focus: Perinatal loss, infertility challenges, pre- and postpartum mood concerns, grief and loss, and life transitions
• Who she works with: Individuals, couples, and families
• Office: Short Hills, NJ (in-person + telehealth across New Jersey)

Kathy works in a warm, empathic, and non-judgmental way, building a therapeutic relationship grounded in trust, acceptance, collaboration, and empathy. Whether you are navigating a recent loss, coping with grief that has resurfaced, or preparing emotionally for a future pregnancy, she offers a steady and compassionate presence throughout the process.

When to Consider Reaching Out

Grief after perinatal loss is natural, and many people benefit from support at any stage. It may be especially helpful to reach out if you notice:

• Persistent sadness, anxiety, or numbness lasting several weeks or longer
• Difficulty sleeping, eating, working, or managing daily responsibilities
• Ongoing guilt or self-blame
• Intrusive memories or avoidance of reminders of the loss
• Growing distance in your relationship or from friends and family
• Significant anxiety during a new pregnancy

You do not need to wait until things feel unmanageable to seek support. Reaching out early is a meaningful act of self-care.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is it normal to grieve an early pregnancy loss? Yes. The depth of grief is not determined by how far along a pregnancy was. Many people form a strong emotional bond early, and their grief deserves acknowledgment and care.

How long does grief after perinatal loss last? There is no set timeline. Grief often changes in form and intensity over time, and it is common for emotions to resurface around due dates, anniversaries, or future pregnancies.

Can therapy help with anxiety during a pregnancy after loss? Yes. Therapy can help manage worry, build coping strategies, and provide consistent emotional support throughout a subsequent pregnancy.

Can couples attend therapy together after a loss? Yes. Couples therapy can help partners understand each other’s grieving styles, communicate more openly, and support one another through the healing process.

Is online therapy available? Yes. Light Street Psychotherapy offers telehealth sessions throughout New Jersey, which can be especially helpful during physical recovery or for those balancing busy schedules.

Where to Find Support

Light Street Psychotherapy is located in Short Hills, NJ, with telehealth available throughout New Jersey, including Millburn, Springfield, Maplewood, South Orange, Summit, Madison, Chatham, Livingston, Florham Park, Westfield, Cranford, Whippany, Berkeley Heights, Union, Scotch Plains, Morristown, New Providence, and Mountainside.

Contact: (973) 544-8617 | Book a free consultation